Letters to the Editor

Letter: Remember, they will hear your final good-byes

To the editor:

I felt compelled to share this interesting phenomena with your readers.

Yes, this is true, our hearing is our last sense to function. So when you visit a loved one who is soon to expire, do not forget to say good-bye forever. It is a rewarding experience.

I was fortunate to have heard about it and then able to put it into practice by saying good-bye to my husband last year. He spent four years in a dementia lock-up facility.

When the nurses informed me he was nearing his terminal stage when he could no longer eat, speak or keep his eyes open, I decided then it was time to see if he could hear me even though he appeared to be totally unaware.

I held his hand and spoke to him and then asked him to squeeze my hand if he could hear me and after several seconds I felt his one finger move.

I was delighted and asked him to do it again. The dementia mind works very slowly. I was then able to tell him I loved him and not to be afraid, that he would see his brother and parents again.

The look on his face became a little tranquil. For the first time I came away from a visit with a contended feeling.

I practiced the same good-bye method when I just visited a most dear lady friend who suffered a severe stroke. She was diagnosed to live 24 to 48 hours and looked spaced out already. I was afraid she would not be able to hear me say good-bye and tell her how much I loved her and would miss her.

When I asked her to squeeze my hand [she did so] hard and instantly. I laughed out loud with happiness. I had a nice long talk and left with a contented feeling saying good-bye to a very dear friend.

The two illness were totally different but the ending was the same. So folks, remember those dying faces are alive inside and you will both be overjoyed with the ending.

Dot Davies-Fuhrman,




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