Bless Charlie Sheen’s fading beauty and spectacular descent into madness.
There’s only so much end-is-nigh material even the most happily pessimistic person can handle, and I’ve had my fill via recent headlines.
Cheery tidbits like coyotes-are-eating-pets, Mounties-have-gone-wild-in-an-unsexy-way, or varying other signs of general world disarray have truly caused a bit of a mental block.
So I’ve leaned in and taken mental notes, as reputable news organizations debase their products by putting global strife on the backburner to air Sheen’s severe bouts of verbal diarrhea. They’re a bit like soda bubbles, breaking through the syrup in my brain.
Here’s a sampling of this week’s bon mots, just in case you missed international news coverage and found yourself immersed in the musings within a community paper:
“The last time I used? What do you mean? I used my toaster this morning.”
While it seemed obvious to me that the interviewer was referring to drugs, Sheen cleared up any room for confusion by later offering up his substance predilections: “I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen.”
A prominent UK newspaper is also cashing in on the PR disaster that once made $2 million an episode with a mashup that compares stars of the two biggest news stories going.
In a quiz called Charlie Sheen v Moammar Gadhafi: Whose line is it anyway?, participants are asked which newsmaker said what.
Example: Who said, “I am like the Queen of England” and “I’m extremely old-fashioned, I’m a nobleman, I’m chivalrous.”
Survey says, Gadhafi likens himself to the queen, while Sheen’s your knight in shining armour.
After the belly laughs subsided, unfortunately, I was left with an uncomfortable awkwardness. It’s hard to avoid the question of how much is too much, and what are the limits of propriety in this no-holds-barred era of information proliferation?
Gadhafi, be he ever so verbally daffy—thank you elementary school teachers who taught me to rhyme incessantly—isn’t cuddly and benign and I’m not sure if pithy pot shots are a step in the right direction.
And Sheen’s epic meltdown quite honestly smacks of mental illness, whether he came by it honestly or not, and I’m relatively sure that’s off the list of things that are acceptable to make light of.
It’s a slightly unpleasant reflection on our culture, and the way we’ve come to eat up information and dumb it down. It’s also a lot to wrap one’s mind around, but considering the choices out there today, I’ll forge ahead.
Oh, I mean I’ll forge ahead still soaking in the smutty tidbits I’m only mildly put off by.
When it comes right down to it, how could you turn away from someone enhanced by “Tiger’s blood.”
Kathy Michaels is a reporter at the Kelowna Capital News and her column runs every Thursday.