There are moments when up seems like down, down is up and the topsy turviness isn’t the least bit welcomed.
Such times are usually few and far between, thus tolerable. Over the last few weeks, however, they’ve come on so fast and furious that I was forced to compile a highlight reel.
Topping the list came from a decision to get to the bottom of the fuss around the Twilight series in time for the newest film release. My methodology amounted to reading the synopses of each book.
Possible threats to my IQ aside, I had a startling realization teenagers and the minivan majority are eating up Stephenie Meyer’s musings about a girl deciding whether she wants to lose her virginity to a canine or a dead guy. Turns out the masses are swooning over deeds that would, in comparison, make the business in Bountiful look tepid.
That discovery was only slightly less unsettling than two days later when a woman helped further debase my faith in humanity by careening into my backend at a red light.
Although rattled, it may not have made the list had she not jumped out of the car to yell “Kelowna people are
sneaky,” while snapping pics of me with her iPhone. The old bat was a good foot shorter than me, so clearly she wasn’t shooting my best angle, which literally added insult onto injury.
A series of unpleasant events followed, but they paled in comparison to Sunday’s election, which left me momentarily shaking my concussed head and daydreaming of simpler days, when fairy tales about bestiality and necrophilia had yet to be written.
My beloved lefties were gob-
smacked by Sunday’s news the city elected a “business” oriented council and, for a few hours, I was caught up with the frantic chatter.
The fear, of course, is the majority of newly elected officials won’t have a heart. Kelowna will morph into a Potterville, now that the George Baileys have been cast out of office, and everyone from kittens to the disenfranchised will suffer.
All said and done, the end really did seem to be nigh. But time has allowed those dire forecasts to abate and I’ve crawled back into my fence-sitting position.
From here the view is far less grim.
Even the most dastardly small town politician wouldn’t want to rubber stamp Kelowna to death. City council isn’t a glorious job, and if those newly-elected think it’s a way to rise from the celebrity D-list to the C-list, making poor decisions along the way, they won’t last long.
The flip side of that is they also can’t stamp out a global recession, which means they’re going to have some ‘splaining to do if conditions don’t improve.
Most of all, we all could use a happy ending after the last few years. And like any classic story of good versus evil has shown, getting there isn’t always simple. At least we won’t have to work through wolves and the undead.
Kathy Michaels is a reporter for the Capital News.