Office Politics 101: From friendship to . . . ?

Q: A guy I work with — and quite like — has invited me to go hiking with him for the weekend.  We’d be staying in a cabin with another unmarried couple.  It sounds like fun, but I’m also a bit hesitant. Your thoughts?

A: Most friendships begin at work, so it’s not surprising you have been presented with this opportunity. It also must be nice to have received this invitation as you have some feelings for him.

You are both single which, of course, allows you to consider a relationship.  Nonetheless, your hesitancy is understandable and I presume you wish to be cautious and not place yourself in an awkward situation.

Your decision to accept or decline the invitation is very much a personal matter but, at the same time, you should also consider the optics of what could transpire, even after the weekend.

Gossip can be found in many offices and, should you decide to go with him, it is probable others will learn about it, even if you decide not to mention it.  Gossipers, unfortunately, don’t have a particular affection for the truth and may make flawed assumptions about the relationship.

In addition, you should consider how you believe the friendship might progress if you were to accept the invitation.  While you quite like him — as you note — it is quite another thing to begin a trajectory which may take you in a direction which offers significant momentum.

Remember, too, that should you go away for the weekend, your relationship with him will almost certainly be altered — even if you are not intimate in any way.

One further note: if the fellow is your supervisor — or in a more senior position —  you probably should be even more wary.  Under these conditions, he is in a position of authority over you which could complicate your working relationship.

Incidentally, you don’t mention if the other couple is also employed in your office.  If one or both of them also work with you, it may impact any future communication on the job.

To a large extent, your decision will likely be based on trust.  If you respect him and feel he has your best interests in mind, you might accept; if, on the other hand, you have some misgivings about his character, or do not know him that well, you may decline, at least for now.

Office friendships are to be treasured and valued.  It is great you have been invited for a fun weekend, but there are other issues you will need to address.  Any decision should be considered with careful reflection and a sense of how the relationship might grow.

 

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to simongibson@shaw.ca

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just Posted

B.C. freestyle skier wins gold

Cassie Sharpe of Comox shines in the halfpipe

Lake Country couple to be recognized with heritage award

James, Anita Baker will receive the Central Okanagan Heritage Society’s Distinguished Service Award

Flipped car snarls Kelowna rush hour traffic

North-bound traffic on Highway 97 backed up Monday afternoon

Suspect in West Kelowna home break-ins apprehended

Police say 31-year-old West Kelowna man is in custody and is also wanted on Canada-wide warrants

UPDATE: Kelowna snowboarder being mourned at Big White

He was a local snowboarder, who went to Rutland high school.

Hope raises thousands for two Kelowna charities

The event Hope in Her Eyes managed to raise more than $17,000 for two Kelowna non-profits

How to keep local news visible in your Facebook feed

Facebook has changed the news feed to emphasize personal connections. You might see less news.

Virtue and Moir end ice dance careers with Olympic gold

Virtue and Moir’s gold medal win at the Olympics makes them the world’s most decorated figure skaters

Canadians find living in small spaces teaches creativity

Canadian families choosing to live in small spaces to bring closeness to children

NDP Health Minister calls to offer woman seat on Interior Health Board

Joyce Beddow-Buckland of Ashcroft was surprised by the call, and accepted the offer.

No decision yet from Sagmoen bail hearing

Provincial court judge is expected to decide next week if Silver Creek man to remain in custody

SAR suspends search for missing man at Sun Peaks

RCMP will continue to search for a missing man near Kamloops but SAR has suspended their role

Vagina Monologues hits the Kelowna stage this week

Okanagan production set to target a hot topic: vaginas

Lottery will help save children’s lives

Each ticket gets you a chance to win a lot of money, while helping a lot of kids

Most Read