Kevin James gets his motor (or whatever powers a segway) running in Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2

In Theatres: Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2; Unfriended; Monkey Kingdom

Kevin James returns to theatres with his clip-on tie, moustache, and segway intact, in the sequel to 2009's Paul Blart: Mall Cop

Welcome to April.

Oscar season ended a while ago. With, you know, the Oscar.

And Oscar has yet to start again, as it always does, because Hollywood still has 10 months to cobble together some contenders and make us care for one Sunday again.

So these is the dog days of the silver screen, where the biggest box office (maybe even critical draw) is Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, starring Kevin James. This has a plot, apparently. And it’s a sequel to 2009’s Paul Blart: Mall Cop which – don’t laugh! – pulled in over $183 million.

Perhaps that’s why Paul Blart has a sequel, whereas the Super Troopers guys have to crowdfund and Indiegogo to fund theirs.

Also in theatres this weekend:

  • The horror film Unfriended tells the story of a cyber bully who cyber-bullies cyber bullies, after the cyber bullies cyber-bullied a girl names Laura Barnes until she killed herself.
  • Tina Fey narrates Disney’s Monkey Kingdom, an IMAX-ish tale of a family of monkeys that fights to retrieve its home from “powerful neighbouring monkeys”. (The film will almost undoubtedly be the most critically acclaimed film to be released this weekend. It already has a 93% average rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and CBC film critic Eli Glasner has called it “funny, beautiful and touching”.

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