To the editor:
First, congratulations on your new job. Well deserved. (Satire follows)
The City of Kelowna would like to apologize for the long delays experienced lately on Benvoulin Road and Glenmore Road during the recent construction of our fibre optic network. The city undertook this work to save money by using your money, as taxpayers to put in fibre to take business away from Telus and maybe compete with them. This is in no way retribution for Telus closing their regional office here and laying off 450 local citizens. It was purely a business decision.
On behalf of your mayor and council, I would also like to apologize for the long lines at the landfill. You see, the city gets a cut of the gas tax, so having 100 trucks idling for 45 minutes burns a lot of fuel, especially when it happens all day long. Why the line is long enough to prevent commercial haulers from accessing the card lock access. We could add another employee and staff the second scale house but that would cost the city money rather than you. City staff love to go to the web page www.kelowna.ca/trash and laugh at all the suckers burning gas while we sit in our air-conditioned $5.5 million landfill admin office.
The gas revenue also explains why there are such crazy traffic light settings. Just think, if the light at Enterprise Way and Dilworth Drive let more than 10 vehicles cross Enterprise you wouldn’t get to look at all the lovely shipping containers stacked on the side of the road.
I’m out of things to apologize for at the moment, but we at the city are working hard to make your life miserable.