Hodge: Driving around our province is a spellbinding experience

Last week I survived a one-day return trek to Vancouver while today I pen my column from inside a gorgeous, fairy-tale-like mansion…

Seems my life suddenly resembles that of a very lucky but busy traveling salesman—or long distance car courier.

Regardless, last week I survived a one-day return trek to Vancouver while today I pen my column from inside a gorgeous, fairy-tale-like mansion overlooking a lake in the Kootenays.

By the time this column hits your hands today, I will likely be nestled back in at home and happy to be there.

I love travel and adventure but there is nothing quite like home.

Even a funky, old stone mansion that is now a wonderful bed and breakfast gets old hat after three days.

However, in general life on the road in B.C. is spellbinding to say the least.

My two recent trips have once again afforded me the remarkable experiences of first-hand traversing a tiny portion of this vast and extraordinary province.

Spectacular, stunning, stultifying—the list of superlatives to describe my voyage so far is nearly as lengthy as the trip itself.

Part of the real challenge is to remember to concentrate on the road ahead.

It is tough to gauge which is more impressive—the diverse, breathtaking, majestic scenery provided by Mother Nature, or the awe-inspiring, mind-boggling, display of tenacity and technology involved in the creating of highways, bridges and tunnels that somehow magically cut through mountains and thick forests and over rivers.

The whole show is marvelous.

I will have more thoughts on my recent escapades including some Hodge Podge appropriate tips on what to do and not to do, where to eat and not to eat in southern B.C.

Meanwhile, I’m normally not prone to ‘reposting’ a column I have discovered online somewhere. However, this little witty word-gem begs to see the repeat button.

I have eliminated one or two from the original list, recognizing the slightly higher couth and class criteria on content in public newspapers verses online forums. So enjoy:

Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one or two letters, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time

2. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with

3. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly

4. Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future

5. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it

6. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late

7. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease

8. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer

9. Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you

10. Glibido: All talk and no action

11. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly

12. Arachnoleptic Fit: The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web

13. Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out

14. Caterpallor: The colour you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

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