Hodge: Recycle Lego pieces buffered with a few Timmys

“Let's build a wall…It will be crafted by Lego bricks…from sea to shining sea."

I gotta admit, every once in a while Tez comes up with an idea that borders on brilliant.

She definitely deserves more credit for some of the amazing concepts that spawn in her brain yet which I get acknowledgment for.

I feel bad she is not given more praise and applause by others and that I get all the attention.

Lots of times I get credit for being the “unusual” or “artistic” one with the “different” ideas.

I hear folks whisper that sort of stuff as I strut into a room.

It’s as if folks perceive me as an inspiration or a trend-setter, the “spark plug” of any group, so to speak.

I sense it often when Tez and I are out at events, especially with the sideways looks and eye-rolling directed my way.

I’m the one folks shrug their shoulders about with apparent confidence and then gossip about quietly as I walk by—so as to not feed my ego by hearing their constant praise.

“He’s a politician, ya know,” folks whisper in huddled groups, looking concerned or empathetic, not trying to show how impressed they actually are.

Or, “isn’t he that writer fellow” they marvel as I trundle past, shaking their heads in disbelief at my humbleness.

I am always amused when they roll their fingers in circular motions near their brain indicating how my mind is always spinning with ideas and stuff.

Yup, gotta love fans.

However, sometimes I feel sorry for Tez because occasionally when we are out at events, I overhear comments like, “So what is she doing with him?” or, “It must be difficult being around him a lot.”

Clearly some folks must think Tez simply can’t keep up with my razor sharp intellect or dynamic popularity. It’s not true.

Clearly I have not painted her in the proper light in previous columns.

When it comes to profound strategy or simple simplistic trouble-solving Tez is in a league of her own.

Here’s a recent sample of her uncanny visionary skills.

“We need to build our own wall,” Tez announced in exacerbation last night, turning off the latest news on the U.S. Rat Race, err… election, with a sigh of worried weariness.

“This whole Donald Trump nightmare election sham is getting seriously scary now. If the Yanks are not careful their dangerous game will bite them really big.

“Can you imagine how the world will react if he actually gets elected president?” Teresa pontificated, thoughts shared by millions of Canadians.

“So, if after his election The Donald is going to build a big wall to keep out the Mexicans, then we need to build a wall to keep out Trump,” Teresa grinned, revving up the sarcasm levels. “Except we will build it with a Canadian flavour.

“It will be crafted by Lego bricks the entire way, from sea to shining sea. What Canadian kid hasn’t had or played with Lego?

“By building with Lego there will be no concern regarding running out of material because Lego DNA remains unaltered.”

(Lego was first started in 1948 and Lego bricks built then still fit with bricks built today. The same choice of colours and designs remain along with some additions.)

Any repair work down the road will pose no problem material-wise.

“Just think how many bricks are tucked away in basements and attics around the nation,” Tez continued.

We could probably build the wall for free.

Canada could hold a national wall donation day rally and have folks bring down their Lego.

Better yet, we could throw a nation-wide party and just build the wall on a weekend. Gives the term, “just another brick in the wall” a Canadian feeling.

“Yup, bring in some outdoor hockey rinks, live music, a gazillion Tim Hortons and we’d have that puppy built in no time,” she carried on.

“We should probably build with white and red coloured bricks to begin with. A nice Canadian touch—and build it politely as well. Not all that high. Sort of a nice fence.

“If that doesn’t get Donald to smarten up then we will just be forced to pile on a bunch more bricks.

“We have lots of Lego. Lego is clearly long lasting and recyclable. If we decide to tear it down later, or move it, or change the design, no problem. Flexible, adaptable, reusable—how can we go wrong?

“Funding should not be an issue because the federal government should pay for it. If the federal government can’t get a federal government grant, then who can?  We could establish a GO Trump Fund or something,” Tez grinned.

“It should be an easy project to sell to the voters.

“It’s a Make Work Project and involves clean, light, technology.

“For safety we could place Tim Hortons franchises every few kilometers along the wall. Security will be well looked after.

“We will probably need to create a name for the wall. Maybe the Great Wall of Chump or something.”

She suggested perhaps I could get city council to take it forward to the Union of B.C. Municipalities, and then the Federation of Canadian Municipalities for support.

“Or better yet, hold on to it and then in case you run in the provincial election or something use the wall idea as a political blockbuster strategy idea.

“It will garner you lots of support, just like Trump’s wall is helping him.”

Then, in true gracious Teresa style, she looked at me sweetly and added, “And you know honey, I don’t even want credit for this. Just tell people this was your idea.”

Yup, my Tez is amazing alright. I get all the credit for being the smart one yet she is the engine behind the train.

That’s just not fair.


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