Local Lizzie: Ways to heal from a broken heart

Lizzie Skelton is a UBC Okanagan student who writes a column for Black Press

Going through a break up sucks, it’s a messy emotional roller coaster. Trust me, I know how it feels. It can feel like everything inside you is breaking, your emotions run wild and your heart physically begins to hurt. I know this feeling all to well and I am sure you are familiar with it too. It hurts like hell.

It’s painful, especially the day after the breakup. Whether you’ve been broken up with or you’re the one who broke things off, it still cuts deep. You cry yourself to sleep and you continue into that solemn slumber right into the next day. You are consumed by dreams that deceive you into thinking this isn’t reality and that this isn’t actually happening. Friends and family check in on you but you ignore their texts. You hope to God that he will text you saying he’s changed his mind. Yet, as the days pass by slowly, that doesn’t happen.

You begin to ask yourself negative questions like “Am I not worth it?” or “Why does this hurt so much?”

You begin to question your self-worth, which is a dangerous road to go down. This can be devastating.

Right now, you’re hurting and your heart is aching and you’re tempted to text him or you begin to look at old photos of you both together. You thought this would make things better but you end up feeling worst than before.

Let me tell you something, it’s okay to hurt and cry.

You’re mourning, so let yourself feel those emotions. Don’t suppress them because eventually you will explode and hurt those close to you. I’ve been where you are, in fact, I am still there, with a grieving heart. Healing is slow and it takes a lot of patience but I want to list some ways I am coping in hopes to encourage others in their own journey.

  1. Cry, cry it out and let it hurt. Feel those emotions. But after a while, be careful though because you don’t want to live in that pain.
  2. Be kind, be present and love others unconditionally. This is so healing! Loving others through your pain shows so much strength.
  3. Don’t isolate yourself. Talk about it with your mentor or close friends and family. Talking about it helps so much!
  4. Pour yourself into your passions. Don’t give up on the things you love doing. For me, I’m focusing on my writing. This is something I highly suggest, it’s not only distracting but it helps you stay focused and motivated.
  5. Believe you will heal; believe you will get through this and grow from this pain. Believe you are strong, valued and loved.

Remember, you will not feel this way forever. This is just a season and you will overcome this trial. You are going to be okay.

Missed last week’s column?

Community comes together on Halloween

About Lizzie Skelton:

I’m a fourth-year University student at UBCO.

My goal is to one day go into journalism at UBC Vancouver.

I want to eventually write about controversial and political topics.

Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.

Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Comments are closed

Just Posted

Kelowna cyclist breaks national ‘everesting’ record

Jacob Rubuliak, 17, rode up and down Knox Mountain 38-and-a-half times, the equivalent elevation of Mount Everest

Milestone RCMP Cops For Kids fundraiser ride going virtual

You can join and help RCMP raise funds for families and possibly win 20th anniversary cycling shirt

Council to debate Cawston Avenue apartment building

The building is nine metres taller than the area’s zoning currently allows

Kelowna Secondary football star, water skier, signs with University of Calgary

Isaac Athans, and his family, have a long history of success across various sports in the Okanagan, nationally

QUIZ: A celebration of dogs

These are the dog days of summer. How much do you know about dogs?

New Mount Revelstoke National Park campground opening July 15

It’s the first campground built in a mountain national park in over half a century

Okanagan man arrested after reports of assaults on Kal Lake pier

Vernon-North Okanagan RCMP officers successful after takedown on railway trestle

Man charged in Rideau Hall crash had rifle, shotguns, high-capacity magazine: RCMP

Hurren is accused of threatening to cause death or bodily harm to the prime minister

Kamloops RCMP looking into officer’s ‘black face’ social media posts

“Is my skin racist?” comments Const. Rupert Meinke on Instagram post of skin treatment

B.C. extends income assistance exemption for COVID-19

Provincial program to match Ottawa’s CERB, student pay

Shuswap business duo broaden downtown beach vibe

Jody Boychuk and Eddy Johnston enjoying bigger, brighter Sicamous location

Most Read