To the editor:
It was 30 years ago this month that Canadian singer-songwriter Leonard Cohen released his classic album, I’m Your Man. One of the album’s highlights, Everybody Knows, has been variously described by critics as “bitterly pessimistic” yet funny, or, more strongly, “a bleak prophecy about the end of the world as we know it.”
At the 2017 Juno gala dinner, son Adam Cohen recalled that his father “was one of the only people I know, who had the most absurd prediction that anybody in my midst would dare have: He predicted Donald Trump was going to be the president of the United States, which of course made us all laugh hysterically.”
Leonard Cohen died Nov. 7, 2016 at age 82—one day before Trump defeated Hillary Clinton in the U.S. presidential election.
I hope Leonard Cohen will be pleased with this slight rewrite of Everybody Knows:
Everybody Knows 2.0
Everybody knows that there’s no collusion
Everybody smiles when the camera’s on
Everybody knows the game is over
Everybody knows the fake guy won
Everybody knows his temper is quick
The rich get richer, the poor get sick
That’s how it goes
Everybody knows
Everybody knows who’s doing the leaking
Everybody knows that The Donald lies
Everybody got this broken feeling
Like their country or their dog just died
The top one percent fill their pockets
Where does Wolff send the box of chocolates?
Now I suppose
Everybody knows
Everybody knows what he said to Billy
Everybody knows all his tweets are true
Everybody knows he reads all documents
Ah, give or take a time or two
Everybody knows the spineless GOP
And there were so many Russians he just had to meet
With a friendly pose
And everybody knows
Everybody knows, everybody knows
That’s how it goes
Everybody knows
Everybody knows, everybody knows
That’s how it goes
Everybody knows
And everybody knows that it’s now or never
Everybody knows how much he offends
And everybody knows that you live forever
Ah, when you’re watching Fox & Friends
Everybody knows the chaotic West Wing
Do the Dreamers mean anything?
What will Mueller disclose
So everybody knows
And everybody knows that he’s a racist
He knows very fine people on both sides
Everybody knows he said ‘s-hole countries’
Everybody knows the Button he wants to try
Everybody knows he has three TVs
And there are so many cheeseburgers he just has to eat
When in repose
Everybody knows
And everybody knows that he’s in trouble
Everybody knows that it’s time to go
From the plaque below the Statue of Liberty
To the beach at Mar-a-Lago
Everybody knows fifteen women’s names
And who it is they blame
That’s how it goes
Now everybody knows
Everybody knows, everybody knows
That’s how it goes
Everybody knows
Everybody knows, everybody knows
That’s how it goes
Everybody knows
Everybody knows the very stable genius
Everybody knows of serious voter fraud
He knows more about ISIS than the generals
Everybody knows Mexico pays for the wall
Everybody knows loyalty’s a one-way street
Fire and fury will have lots of heat
So before it blows
Everybody knows
Everybody knows that there’s no obstruction
Everybody knows he paid the porn star
Everybody knows he’ll talk to Mueller
As long as it is not behind bars
Everybody knows the memo’s cherry-picked
Dems who don’t clap are a treasonous clique
They are his foes
Everybody knows
Everybody knows, everybody knows
That’s how it goes
Everybody knows…
David Buckna Kelowna
To report a typo, email: edit@kelownacapnews.com.
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