FILE - In this April 17, 2009, file photo, Leonard Cohen performs during the Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival in Indio, Calif. - Image: AP Photo/Chris Pizzello, File

FILE - In this April 17, 2009, file photo, Leonard Cohen performs during the Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival in Indio, Calif. - Image: AP Photo/Chris Pizzello, File

Letter: What would Leonard do?

Kelowna letter-writer updates a Leonard Cohen song for ‘Trump’ times

To the editor:

It was 30 years ago this month that Canadian singer-songwriter Leonard Cohen released his classic album, I’m Your Man. One of the album’s highlights, Everybody Knows, has been variously described by critics as “bitterly pessimistic” yet funny, or, more strongly, “a bleak prophecy about the end of the world as we know it.”

At the 2017 Juno gala dinner, son Adam Cohen recalled that his father “was one of the only people I know, who had the most absurd prediction that anybody in my midst would dare have: He predicted Donald Trump was going to be the president of the United States, which of course made us all laugh hysterically.”

Leonard Cohen died Nov. 7, 2016 at age 82—one day before Trump defeated Hillary Clinton in the U.S. presidential election.

I hope Leonard Cohen will be pleased with this slight rewrite of Everybody Knows:

Everybody Knows 2.0

Everybody knows that there’s no collusion

Everybody smiles when the camera’s on

Everybody knows the game is over

Everybody knows the fake guy won

Everybody knows his temper is quick

The rich get richer, the poor get sick

That’s how it goes

Everybody knows

Everybody knows who’s doing the leaking

Everybody knows that The Donald lies

Everybody got this broken feeling

Like their country or their dog just died

The top one percent fill their pockets

Where does Wolff send the box of chocolates?

Now I suppose

Everybody knows

Everybody knows what he said to Billy

Everybody knows all his tweets are true

Everybody knows he reads all documents

Ah, give or take a time or two

Everybody knows the spineless GOP

And there were so many Russians he just had to meet

With a friendly pose

And everybody knows

Everybody knows, everybody knows

That’s how it goes

Everybody knows

Everybody knows, everybody knows

That’s how it goes

Everybody knows

And everybody knows that it’s now or never

Everybody knows how much he offends

And everybody knows that you live forever

Ah, when you’re watching Fox & Friends

Everybody knows the chaotic West Wing

Do the Dreamers mean anything?

What will Mueller disclose

So everybody knows

And everybody knows that he’s a racist

He knows very fine people on both sides

Everybody knows he said ‘s-hole countries’

Everybody knows the Button he wants to try

Everybody knows he has three TVs

And there are so many cheeseburgers he just has to eat

When in repose

Everybody knows

And everybody knows that he’s in trouble

Everybody knows that it’s time to go

From the plaque below the Statue of Liberty

To the beach at Mar-a-Lago

Everybody knows fifteen women’s names

And who it is they blame

That’s how it goes

Now everybody knows

Everybody knows, everybody knows

That’s how it goes

Everybody knows

Everybody knows, everybody knows

That’s how it goes

Everybody knows

Everybody knows the very stable genius

Everybody knows of serious voter fraud

He knows more about ISIS than the generals

Everybody knows Mexico pays for the wall

Everybody knows loyalty’s a one-way street

Fire and fury will have lots of heat

So before it blows

Everybody knows

Everybody knows that there’s no obstruction

Everybody knows he paid the porn star

Everybody knows he’ll talk to Mueller

As long as it is not behind bars

Everybody knows the memo’s cherry-picked

Dems who don’t clap are a treasonous clique

They are his foes

Everybody knows

Everybody knows, everybody knows

That’s how it goes

Everybody knows…

David Buckna Kelowna

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